Here's Your Sign

You have probably heard the stand-up comedy of one Bill Engvall.  If you have not, I strongly recommend you do.  He is one of the few, relatively clean, but actually funny comics left in the world.  His earlier material is better in my opinion, as once he became widely known I feel it lost some of its appeal, but I still like his stuff.

Anyway, his signature is the "Here's your sign..." bit.  Here's your sign is Bill's reply to someone who asks a blatantly obvious (read: incredibly stupid) question.  So the idea is that when this question is asked, he would like to hand you a big sign.  A sign that you have to carry around and hold in front of you for all to see.  A sign that says:  "I'm stupid."  Since that isn't really realistic, he's reserved himself to just tell the person "Here's your sign" so that they know they've just embarrassed themselves.  I remember, I think, an example from his early work.  He's in the bathroom brushing his teeth, his wife walks in and says "You brushin' your teeth?"  He turns and with a mouthful of toothpaste says "Here's your sign."   Pretty funny.

Where is the going you ask?  Well, although everyone is susceptable to needing a sign every now and then, sometimes its such a shocking inquiry that before you have the chance to say "Here's your sign," you first find yourself saying "REALLY!?"  And as you may have guessed, the wonderful youth whose minds I mold are an everyday source of these moments. 

It happens at least twice a week; a student walks past my desk and peers over the framed picture sitting to my left.  Its a picture of my wife and I on our wedding day.  That's right.  Me, in a tuxedo with my arm around my wife, in a wedding dress holding a bouquet of flowers gazing star-struck and lovingly into each others eyes.

"Is that your wife?"

*sigh*

"Here's your sign."