Black Market ... Beer?

On a normal weekend camping trip to one of our favorite spots, I was unable to make the trip on Friday night with the rest of the crew.  Instead, I woke up at 0'dark-thirty on Saturday morning and made my way to the camp site.  I stopped at a local Quik-Trip to grab a coffee, biscuit, and some adult beverages for the weekend.  However, due to completely asinine laws in our state/county, you can't purchase alcohol between 12am and 9am. While checking out, the QT employee asked me where I was traveling, and I responded with an annoyed "north."  She informed me that the laws are different in different counties so I should stop again when I am farther north. 

I drove about 60 miles north and stopped at another QT, 4 counties north.  The time was now 6:25 am.  As I walk inside I notice the lights in the coolers containing the beverages for which I'm searching are off.  By this point I'm starting to get a little angry.  I really hate how the government can tell me when it's okay to buy alcohol and when it's not okay.  I quickly turned to leave and the QT employee at this location said "Can I help you find something?"  I snapped back "Not unless you can sell me some beer, but I'm guessing big brother has taken our rights hostage in this county too."  He nodded and said, "At least until 8 am."

"Well, I'm not sitting around for an hour and half so thanks anyway."

"Where ya headin'?"

"North."

"Will you passing the Walmart about 20 miles north of here?"

"Yes."

And here is where it gets weird.  He said "I know a guy.  He works in Electronics.  I'll call him and tell him you'll meet him there in 30 minutes, keep your brown jacket on."

I said okay, and left, thinking I'll just have to be that guy.  The guy that shows up to go camping and drinks everybody's beer.  About halfway between the QT and Walmart I thought, "you know what, I'll at least stop in and see if this guy was for real.  Maybe I can sneak some beer out through a self checkout anyway." 

When I get there, I walk back to electronics and start browsing through the video games.  About 30 seconds later an employee walks over and asks if need any help.  I said no thanks and he turned and walked away.  So I figured it was over.  But after another 30 seconds, the same guy walks back over to me and whispers, "Are you from QT?"

"Yes."

"Follow me, about 20 feet behind" he whispered.  "What kind of beer?"

"Miller Lite"

We walked across the store.  He turned around about halfway and said, "Go back to the video games, I'll be right back"

So here is where I wise up a bit.  I went back towards the video game section, but stopped before and tried to inconspicuously hide in the craft section.  I figured if he walked back with security or something like that, I could get out pretty quickly.  He didn't though, all he had with him was a case of Miller Lite.  I followed him back to the electronics section.  As he was logging in to his register he asked for me to have $20 ready.  It was on sale for $14.99 so my total was $16 something.  He scanned it, typed in some numbers for my birthday, took my $20, counted out the change, pretended to hand it to me, and then put it in his pocket.  He put my beer in a big bag and handed it to me and said, I'll walk you to the front. 

We walked to the front of the store, he told the greeter that I was "good to go" and I walked out.  When I got to my truck I giggled a little bit.  His fee was under $4!  Cheap!

I never tried to buy beer with a fake ID when I was underage, but I was able to experience what it must be like. It really is a shame that someone who is almost 30 years old is apparently not mature or intelligent enough to decide when it is appropriate to purchase beer.  Tax dollars hard at work I guess.